todays food
skinny cow icecream (140 cals ugh)
couple handfuls of honey bunches of oats cereal (120 cals ugh)
5 water bottles
banana (90 cals)
sweet potato (54 cals)
chicken (50 cals)
salad-lettuce,cherry tomatoes,peppers w/ ranch dressing (50 cals)
3 cookies (150 cals ughhh)
1 walnut brownie (100 cals ughhhh)
glass of skim milk (80 cals)
TOTAL = 834 cals omg omg omg omg
wow im totally freaking out
too many cals too many cals grosssssssssss
so as u can c...sweets are my weakness..especially when my mom makes them n stuffs them in my face =[ ughh i wish they never existed..they scream FATTTTT ugh
and on top of how horrible i feel for eating all that crap...im laying down on the couch studying for my dumbass global regents that im guna bomb..& my dad goes..."look at that stomach hanging out!! it must be the brownies!!" ughhhh yyy does he need to make comments like that?i already feel horrible...that just makes it even worse =[ so normally i would go purge after consuming all that crap..especially after my dad made that comment...but im not guna..its bad for you & i promised my best friend i wouldnt...so yea ugh all i wanna do rite now is purge soo badly but i cant...i feel like imgoin through freakin withdrawal...it sux majorly..i dont wanna be fat..but i dont want to be bulimic either...so i will just hafta deal.....so today was a nice day at my friends pool with all my best friends...my bestfriend/boyim in love with rode his bike to my house & then we walked together to my other best friends house..it took 1 hr...it was rly far away..a whole lot of exercise...but it was nice out & it felt good to exercise & work up a sweat & get some color & spend some quality time with my love =] so then i went swimming for a while...sooo nice...so that was more exercise...& tanned for a while...sweat off a bunch of cals...& got great color =]...i was uncomfortable being in a bikini for the first time this summer..but i got over it after a while..i ate a lot infront of my friends so they wouldnt think i was lying about trying to overcome my e.d....so that sucked..i felt like i had to constantly shove food in my mouth so they would get off my back..so anyway..today was another fat day..& im super anxious & stressed about regents..but cant wait to get them over with..later loves <3<3