Broke my record of 13 days without purging last night :(

I broke down and purged multiple times in the span of a few hours. I'm so upset.

But now I have the chance to beat my record. I can do it.

xox, Alice

Hey Loves,

First I want to thank everyone on here for being so sweet and supportive! This is seriously the nicest community. We don't have the same fights as the other ones. Let's keep it that way.

And a special thank you to all of you who comment on any of my posts. Even when they're pointless or rambling.
You all keep me sane and I love you all :)

Second, its going to be that time of the month any day now. It explains the bloating and cravings and possibly the two pounds I've gained.

Third and finally, I purged last night. I'd gone about 13 days without doing it. But my mother made hamburgers and wouldn't take "I'm not hungry". I ate two, no buns, with ketchup and A-1 and I literally felt so disgusted and sick I couldn't keep myself from doing it. I got rid of as much as I could. The worst part is I went back later after drinking a ton of water and threw up the water. I don't know why. I just felt like I needed to do more even though I knew I wasn't going to get anything else up.

Fuck.

I'm becoming a pescatarian again. That means only veggies and seafood. But it's basically the equivalent of going vegetarian since my fam never makes seafood and college doesnt have many options. But calling myself "pesca-" rather than "vege-" means I won't be questioned. I made it a new year's resolution. :)

I'm going to try to break my record for not purging. Maybe I can make it into a game. Come up with rewards like shopping and such. Idk.

I just need to be better about exercising and restricting. I'd much rather have that be my obsession.

Hope everyone's well and sorry for being a downer. Hope you all are having wonderful days and are feeling good about yourselves! You're all beautiful and you deserve to be happy!

xox, Alice

So the past few days ive been cutting my calories down drastically from what they used to be, Im not nearly as low as what most of you are at, but i was used to binging (and not purging) for the past several weeks only over 2500 calories a night every single night. Bad nights put me over 4000 calories a night. Needless to say all those 4000 calorie a night binges made me gain a lot of weight. The past few nights i have cut down to about 1300-1400 a day, which is a healthy amount of calories, but has left me starving after what im used to getting in. And i feel so weak that i cant exercise.  I used to be able to exercise for hours a day when i was over 2000 calories a day, now i just about die trying to get in 30 minutes. I'm not losing any weight because i dont have the energy to move around, its like my metabolism has stopped.  I'm so frusterated. I also can't sleep at night because im hungry, and i do eat before i go to bed, i have steamed veggies and an apple and if i wake up later hungry again i'll do the same again. But it doesn't satisfy me because my body is used to having carbs for energy, and lots of them.   I am just sooo fatigued, out of it, bloated feeling, and slightly nasueated. I just want my energy back!!!  I'm taking b-vitamins, a multi-vitamin, drinking caffiene, green tea, even getting vitamin B and C injections- you name it. How do you guys cut down to half (or even less) of what im eating and find the energy to do hours of exercise a day?? I don't see it possible!!

Just bought diet pills for the first time. Clearance $10, regular $40.

These things better not make me retain weight or water :(

It says to take 15 minutes before i eat. I just ate, if I take them after will it still supress my appetite?

Just bought slimquick. hoping it works.

drugs make EDs so much easier.

im proud of myself for not purging after my binge!

Amen.

Hey all :)
Can i just say how addictive it is when you lose weight on the Wii Fit and your character shrinks!
Amazing!
So i had some fruit juice this morning thinking it would be lowcal and it wasn't! 120 cals! Not bothered though cus im on 300 today :)

I think that Shutupsiobhan deserves a medal for all the commenting she's been doing lately :). Thank you!

Have a good day everyone :)

xx

Current Mood: energetic

hi hunies :)
I have a question, if anyone can help me out, ill really appriciate it :)
does any1 know what vitamin b12 does? I heard a while ago, from a girl (with bulimia) that it increases your metabolism? Is this true? If not, does it contribute to WL at all?
any help appriciated :)
hope your all ok and having a good day xDD
xxXXxx

i woke up feeling thin today...and 8 lbs from my goal!
going to stock up on green tea all day :)
plus i'll be sitting on a bus for 5 hours with no food to keep me from snacking

question: what are some foods that are high in protein, but are "safe"?

I ate way too much for my liking today and I purged twice. I can't do this anymore, the feeling of guilt after b/p is getting to me much more than usual. I'm sick of food. Tomorrow involves vodka so i'm just gonna chug it without any mixers. Or mix with coke zero or something. I watched girl, interrupted today and I really liked it, especially Brittany murphy's role. Anyways i'm gonna starve off the food I had today. I always starve the rest of what I can't throw up but I only realised that starvation was a form of purging today. Really weird.
Xox

Hey everybody:)
I've had such a good day:) I've eaten half a jungle oats bar and had 4 cups of green tea:) going to have more just now...
I been with one of my best friends who is pretty skinny. I always make sure i eat half of What my friends eat. Then i feel superior to them:) it's bitchy But I'm extremely competitive with them. I don't wanna let ana make me a bitch... Must be careful of that.
Hope you all having a good day:)

Current Mood: accomplished

I want female companionship so bad... It's reached the point where the word "want" has become too trivial. I need physical female companionship so bad right now.

FUCK FUCK FUCK.

Im suppost to be on ABC 200.

Fuckupp.

Right get this.

Two sandwiches on salad one chocolate spread 400 or more!
Bowl of sheddies with soya milk 200
sweets 200
on top of my 150 earlier.


FUCK HOW DOES MY STOMACH HOLD ALL OF THAT!
Im so angry at myslelf!
Grrrrrr fuck

Im staying at my girl friends later. Fuck.

 i love when im too small for my clothes:)

but nothing fits me hah...

HAHA a COMPLETE disaser yday,  went out Tue night with the girlies for many a drink, got rather drunk, went home and munched soooo much, woke up yday and munched allllll day must have consumed like ~1700 cals. I did purge tho but couldn't get it all up.

so plan for today - fast and gym ALL day!!!

im not going to beat myself up about it tho, whats done is done, aslong as I work hard today!!!

love you all!

xxxxx

hope everyones alright this snowy morning.

For breakfast ive had four stawberries and a hand full of grapes and blueberries. 150
along with a innocent pure fruit squeezie 8

i feel really full and satified :) im on 200 today so ive got room for something small later.

Ss&Tt

I am down 5 1/2 lbs since the New Year (this community is a big help) !

m so scared that tomorrow I will gain it all back.  It is a holiday at my house which means a large feast of fattening food.  We are also celebrating my bday   which means I will have to eat cake/brownie.  Also, the only way I can cope with being around my family for that long is with alcohol.  I WILL BE EATING AND DRINKING ALL DAY :(

If I buy laxatives will the weight still creep back in a few days? Or will I be able to maintain the 5.5 lb loss that is making me so happy?

Current Mood: drained

I woke up this morning feeling soo weak. I had 2 cups of coffee but that didnt do anything, so I gave in and had a slice of toast with butter - fail. When I eat in the morning it always screws up my whole day :(